


Never Hurt You

by orphan_account



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Medieval, Frerard, Knights - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 02:36:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7489899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank is a prince and Gerard is something else</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Hurt You

**Author's Note:**

> i guess it could be worse. i dont know

Perhaps I should not take for granted the fact that I am the son of a king. It has its benefits. Perhaps I should ignore the fact that my life is planned out for me, that in a way, a peasant has more freedoms than me, the prince. Perhaps I am simply spoiled. Whatever it is I should do or be, I find myself sitting in front of a dirty mirror while servants dress me to watch a duel for the millionth time. I know for a fact that I should be grateful that my life is so easy, but this easy life has bored me half to death. My chest piece is tightened, my family's crest displayed for all to see, shiny and taunting. My father has arranged this duel for me to pick new knights to add to our ranks. For some reason, he has placed me in charge of the army, telling me that it is important for me to learn my kingly duties even if it's only one at a time. 

Once I am dressed and ready to appear in front of my kingdom, I stand from my stool and walk out of the tent for a breath of fresh air. I crave a lung full of the tobacco that was presented to my family as a gift, but I have burned through the supplies, leaving me a coughing, breathless mess. I am guided by my mother to our family's seats to watch the event. I feel my fingers twitch, I want to be fighting, to be down there with my men, even if it is just for fun and not a real battle. There is an opening with drums, the beat echoing through the land, and then the first two fighters are announced. One is a newcomer, up against own of my men. This piques my interest. Sure, new knights appear all the time to public events such as this, but it had not been advertised as such. Maybe word got out through the villages. Whatever happened, the newcomer is bravely walking towards the center of the field.

He is a short man, and that is all I can tell about him as he is completely covered in his armor. It is not typical armor, there is no markings that indicate his family. It is a plain silver, which makes me even more interested. I watch him fight my man, quickly evading the strikes and blows and knocking the knight to the ground after just a few minutes. My father is cheering wildly beside me, and my mother is clapping politely. The newcomer wins when he pins my man to the ground and stabs the sword next to his head, digging up dirt. As the newcomer progresses, bigger and stronger knights are brought out to fight him. Remarkably, the newcomer wins every time. I have seen enough to know that I need this man in our army, so I lean over to one of my workers and tell him to send the new knight to my tent after the game.

IT takes him only an hour to get through all of my opponents, and a new match up starts. I excuse myself to my parents and head towards my tent, where I sit in front of my mirror and wait for the knight. I hear voices approach, one unfamiliar. "Right in here, sir." Then there is light and in the reflection I see a fully armored knight. "Welcome," I greet, smile pulling on my face. "Please, enter. Feel free to disarm if you are comfortable to do so."

The knight approaches the table and lifts his helmet up, revealing his face. It is thin and pale, decorated with dirt and a streak of blood. "How did that happen?" I ask, motioning to the blood.

He glances in the mirror and then chuckles. "Ah, a sword found it's way under my helmet. Nearly took out my eye." He tells me. I don't see how that's humorous. He pushes his helmet the rest of the way off and I see a cloth wrapped around his hair to keep it out of his face. He unties it and begins wiping at the blood. I am met with the sight of the brightest red hair I have ever seen. Certainly it is not natural, no person in these lands has hair of such a color. He daintily wipes at the grime and blood on his face. 

"You pamper yourself as if you were a women."

He gives me an odd look. "Well, with these looks, 'tis a shame I was not graced with a feminine body." 

I find myself laughing at his words. Who would wish to be born a woman? Perhaps breasts are the only benefits. I glance at the knight. He shouldn't wish for a feminine body, he already is quite so from what I can tell. He looks lithe and muscular, strong but not intimidatingly so. "Most warriors carry around blood like a trophy." I inform him, continuing to poke fun at his care for his features.

"Perhaps, but I am not most warriors. It could be argued that I am not a warrior at all." 

What strange words this knight speaks. It's almost entertaining. "What is your name, knight?"

He smirks before saying, "First you insult me and then ask my name? It is a wonder how you make any acquaintances."

My mouth falls open at his openness. "I never insulted you-"

"I suppose it is wrong of me to assume being called a female is insulting." He says more to himself than to me. I continue to stare at him, captivated by his hair and it's length on top of the color. I don't speak anymore, it's almost like I'm alone staring at a moving picture. Of course, he clears his throat and says, "Fine then. My name is Gerard."

I nod and manage to tear my gaze away from him. It is absurdly rude for me to be this awkward. I stare at my own reflection for no reason, absently wiping a slash of dirt off of my cheek when I hear him click his tongue disapprovingly. I turn back to him, wondering what his problem is. "You are too mighty to tell me who you are in return?" He asks, done with his wound and setting the cloth down on the table.

"You do not know me?" I wonder.

His eyebrows scrunch together and he shakes his head. "I cannot say that we've ever met."

"But surely you recognize my face." I insist. 

"No, sir. You are one of the strangest strangers I've met." He tells me, smiling to signal that he does not mean to insult me. I am lost for words for a moment. He came to this duel to battle for a place in the army, correct? He should know who I am. 

"I am the prince." I tell him. "I thought you knew that. I called you back here to offer you a position among my ranks." 

The smile on his face falls instantly and I watch as he hurries to re-tighten his armor. He seems scared, quickly hurrying to leave. "What is the matter?" I ask.

"I must get going. I'm very sorry Your Highness, if I had known this duel was one hosted by your family I would never have shown my face. Please forgive me for this haste in which I'm leaving you." His face is flushed a deep red, almost as crimson as the hair on his head.

"Whatever are you leaving for? Or apologizing for, for that matter." I add, genuinely curious. It was not an outrage to see my men defeated, I've already established that. 

He stares at me blankly. "I must leave because your father wants me dead. I'm sorry to decline your offer."  His words shock me. I am frozen for a moment as he leaves the tent, and when I finally gather the sense to follow him and talk to him more, he is gone. He must have moved fast. Perhaps it was magic, that would explain the hair. But why would my father want him dead? My father has no issue with wizards or any magic people. He also tries to rule as peacefully as he can. Gerard's words make no sense.

I could go back to witness the final few matches of the duel, but I am too confused to be entertained. I spot a friend in the distance and call out his name. He turns and smiles before making his way over, zigzagging around tents and people walking the opposite way. I duck back into my tent and he follows. I see that Gerard left his cloth.

"Good evening, Frank." My friend greats me.

"Michael," I return, picking up the cloth and tying it around my wrist. 

"Where did you get that?" Michael asks. It's a normal question, but when I look up I see that his face is paler than normal and he is staring intensely and the cloth. His words were strained as well.

"A knight just left, I suppose he forgot his hair cloth." I explain.

Michael reaches for it, but I find myself moving my hand away. "I can return it, I know mos t of the knights fairly well."

"This was not one of our men, it was a newcomer. If he returns I will recognize him and give him his missing tie." I promise, though I do wonder what has Michael captivated by the cloth. He relents his efforts to take it from me and nods, still keeping wary eyes on my wrist.

"Was this knight of interest to you?" He asks, changing the topic. 

"Oh, yes. Sadly I could not get him to join our ranks today. He didn't even know who I was, and when I told him he got so frightened he just disappeared!" I rehash the events from moments ago.

"How odd." Michael says with an air of finality that makes it clear that he does not wish to speak about the knight anymore. That is fine, I have other things to discuss with him. 

"What is your opinion on wizards, my friend."

It takes him but a moment to reply. "I can say this, I know quite a few and I would love to have been born with magic in my veins, but it skipped me." 

"I often think the same." I admit. I have always dreamed about how awesome it would be to be able to cast spells and dabble in witchcraft, but without magic in the blood it is a useless endeavor. I have not met anyone that dislikes magic people. "I think that knight was a wizard, only I don't understand why my father would want him dead." 

"He told you that?" Michael asks, eyes widening slightly.

"He mentioned it in passing."

"Well, Frank, you know very little about what happens in the kingdom." He lowers his gaze to the ground as if he is sad. "People burn those accused of magic at the stake, alive while they scream out in pain. There are rewards, given out by your very own father, to those who present the most parts of killed wizards. It's like a sick game of sport. I thought you knew this."

"I-I never-" I am lost for words. "You must be lying." 

"I tell you the truth." Michael says, and I want to believe him. He is my oldest friend, always helping me and offering advice in my times of woe.

For now, I need to get back to the castle and lay down. I tell Michael that I must go and he offers to walk with me, but I decline, saying I want to clear my head with fresh air. The walk is only a minute or two as my home is right by the dueling arena, but it is enough time for me to ponder about my father and what Michael told me. By the time I am inside the castle, I have decided to ride out to a village next morning to observe the village life. Michael was right, I have no clue what like is life a mile outside of my home. I would leave immediately, but my father has a banquet planned. He tells me it is to celebrate a win, but I know that he is trying to set me up with a neighboring family's daughter in hopes that the kingdoms will come together so we can control more land. 

As soon as I enter my home, servants are disrobing me and leading me to the bath, where hot water waits and new soap sits on the edge of the basin. Sometimes the maids insist on helping me bathe, but I refuse, telling them that I am no longer a little boy, which makes them red in the face. I lower myself into the hot water, knowing very well that my father wants me to focus on washing my hair and trimming to appear as hygienic as possible. By the time I have finished in the water and wrapped up in a towel, my fingers have wrinkled up and my hair feels more dry and brittle than clean. 

I have been sown a new outfit that looks practically identical to all of my other clothes. It is a deep purple shirt, with gold-colored buttons decorating it. There's a black sash to wrap around my waist as I normally do, and the pants are typical fashion, a high end velvet that holds tight to my skin. I decorate my fingers with rings that I don't actually like to wear and even tie my hair back like my father likes. He always nags me about it being just a tad too long. As I am tying my hair, there is a soft knock at the door. My mother peaks her head through, smiling gently. "Hello, son." She greats. She hasn't visited me in my chambers in years. My father must really be hoping for sparks to fly tonight.

"Hello mother." I return. She enters my room, leaving the door open, which I hate. 

"I wanted to talk to you about something, Frank." Her tone is serious, which alarms me as my mother is never serious about anything.

"Alright mother, please come in and sit." She takes a seat on the edge of my bed and I sit across from her in a wooden chair. She wrings her hands nervously. "Is everything alright?"

"Oh, yes dear. I just had a question." She avoids my eyes. "Dear, you know that continuing our blood line is very important." 

"Well, of course mother." I say. "What is your question?"

She chews on her lip. "Well-" She seems too frightened to say it, which is also unlikely of her. She always speaks what's on her mind. "Never mind, dear." She stands and smooths down her dress. 

"Wait, mother-"

"No, forget I even came to talk to you. I'm sure tonight's dinner will be wonderful, you look so handsome." She looks embarrassed, and I stand to walk down to the banquet hall with her. 

"Mother, you can ask me anything." I try to tell her, but she very adamantly shakes her head and keeps descending the stairs outside of my room. "Very well." I shrug, a little angry that she does not trust me with her question. It also annoys me to not know.

I have no time to pout. Guests begin arriving almost as soon as I take my place in the dining hall. There are a few knights that arrive, greeting me and my father and politely acknowledging my mother before going to eat food being served by maidens. Families pour in and soon musical entertainment has arrived and people dance to the rhythm of popular songs that I have never danced to. A girl asks to have a dance and I give her one, even though the steps are unfamiliar and her smile is crooked. During one of the times that I stand still to spin her around, I glance at the group of men playing the music, and my eyes fall directly to a cloth-covered head. When he turns, I see the very tips of his hair poking out from under the cover. When the song ends I excuse myself from the woman, who smiles at me, her cheeks flushing when I give her my most charming smile. My mother is observing me, staring hard and watching every small action of mine.

There is a break in the dancing, and it is announced that dinner will be served in a few moments. A few families go to claim seats at our long table and servants begin to hide away in the kitchen. My mother is watching me still, so I head towards her.

"You missed the arrival of our most important guest. Come, you will sit next to her, not your father tonight." My mother commands. Without waiting for me to respond, she goes to sit at the head of the table next to my father. I find my waiting princess to be at the opposite end, her eyes wide and innocent as she looks around. I have not met her before, but I know that her parents are very powerful and that it would not be wise for me to upset them.

"Good evening, princess." I greet, hoping that my smile is believably charming. She returns my smile, hers is warm and welcoming.

"Hello, prince."

There are no first names in this land. I am nothing but a title to everyone who knows me. Well, except Michael and my parents. The dinner goes smoothly. I learn that the princess is my age, a nice change from all the young girls my father throws at me. Her hair matches mine, brown and shiny, but extending well down her back even though it has been tied and styled. Her eyes are a wonderful blue color and her skin is beautifully light, but I just cannot find myself able to return her flirtatious touches and provocative smiles. 

By the time dinner is over I am definitely drunk. I accepted wine every time it was offered to me, just to have something to do. I dance with the princess for many songs and even kiss her back when she presses into me. All of my inhibitions have vanished, and I am attracted to her not sexually, but because she is so friendly and open. She whispers in my ear, inviting me somewhere. Even through my clouded mind I know that I do not wish to follow her, so I tell her such. Perhaps a bit too loudly and rudely, but it gets the point across. She is less intense after that. Still, she seems content with quick kisses and tender touches, so I leave it at that. 

I have laid with my fair share of women in my life, but it is not something I go out of my way to do. Many princes in kingdoms I know will use their name to score any beautiful girl they desire, but I have never had much interest in such activities. Despite my lack of interest, I end up doing the princess before the party is over, simply because I am drunk and incredibly fired up for some reason, perhaps because of how persistent the princess was being with the idea, practically pushing me somewhere private despite my protests. This day has definitely been an interesting one, and the princess clings to me a little to hard after we return to the party. My father catches my eye and nods approvingly, and I try to ignore the fact that he and most likely my mother know what I just did. I am not proud, I do not feel good after it. I don't think I ever have. I almost cry with relief when the princess' parents announce that they must leave. She completely changes, giving me an innocent look and shying away from my embrace and good-bye kiss, even though she was far from innocent just ten minutes ago.

Her father shakes my hand, telling me that he looks forward to our future, and I feel my stomach tighten. Yes, I have laid with women before, but never a princess. Of course her father knew, it was most likely his plan to have his daughter be so seductive. He knows what I have done to his daughter and he will use that against me. What he doesn't know is that I hated every aspect of her right down to what is between her legs and I couldn't even get anything done there. She was forced to use her hand before letting us return to the party. I did not touch her aside from kissing her, which I did even that hesitantly. 

Once all of the guests have cleared out, I am left in the library with my father. He wastes no time in asking me if anything happened with the princess tonight.

"Father," I groan. "I was never even told her name."

"Is a name really important?" He asks, idly flipping through a leather-bound book.

"If you want me to marry the girl, I think I should at least know what to call her." I feel anger rising in my chest, how could my father care so little about how I really feel? "If you must know, she forced me away from the party and I couldn't even lay with her, I didn't touch her." My words feel hot falling off of my tongue. I'm sobering up, and the details of the night are coming back to me. 

"Well, it's good you two got acquainted-"

"I am not marrying that girl. I do not care about uniting our kingdoms, I do not want to be united with that." I tell him. And with that, I storm out of his library, letting the solid doors slam, creating a noise that echos off of the stone walls. I find a coat that must belong to either me or a guest that forgot it and I throw it over my shoulders. I need some fresh air to clear my mind. 

I know that despite whatever I argue, I will marry that girl simply because I will be forced to. Unless I actually fall in love before then, which isn't likely considering I've never wanted to be with a woman after the deed is done. I haven't found the right girl yet. 

My hands twitch for something to do, and I begin thinking about Gerard. It is chilly outside. I wonder where he went, where he lives, if he's really a wizard. I wonder if I will see him again, if he'll show up to tomorrow's matches for the knights. Oh, right. I completely forgot about those. That means I can't ride into town tomorrow unless I wake up early enough, which I never do. I go inside and find one of the servants. I order him to wake me at sunrise, and he laughs as if it's a joke. I insist I'm serious and he finally agrees, freeing me to go to my chambers. I lay in my bed still feeling angry about the night. It was far from a celebration to me. When I close my eyes my mind flashes to the closet the princess had stuffed us in and I find my self sweating anxiously. Good God, why does sex make me feel this way? Other men have gone on and on bragging about their conquests of vaginas, and yet whenever I find myself able to brag, I want to hide the fact that it ever happened in the first place. 

I fall asleep feeling sick to my stomach.

~~~~~~

Now I understand why I never wake up before the sun has completely risen. The servant wakes me as I ordered, Right at sunrise. I consider telling him to come back in a few hours, but then I remember my curiosity, and how I only have a few hours of free time before I must come back to watch the fighting. I pull myself out of my bed and don't bother with dressing up. I simply want to blend in and not create a scene. I do not tie my hair back and I change out of my clothes from the celebration last night, which I fell asleep in. They drop to the floor and I kick them away, the memories they carry making me shudder. I pull on a simple, thin white shirt and my dirtiest, loosest pants. I top everything off with a simple black cloak that doesn't even have the family crest on it. I have never ridden into a village to observe. I've passed through on a few trips, but I can only hope that I don't look like Prince Iero in this attire.

It should work, because my mother nearly faints when she sees me. I forgot how early she wakes up. At least I don't have to run into my father and deal with him. I tie a small bag of supplies onto the saddle of my horse and wave goodbye to my mother, who watches me curiously from one of our large windows. I had lied and told her that I was going to practice with my bow and arrow, and she didn't even seem to notice that I never grabbed a boy or any arrows. I kick the horse into motion and I canter towards the closest village I know, which is just a few leagues from my castle. 

There are homes very close to my castle of course, extra housing for servants and maids, but the villages don't really begin until I am outside the tall stone walls that serve as protection for my castle. I follow a dirt path for a while until I begin to see houses appear over the hills. I hop down from my horse and let him walk along side me, in no hurry now. I keep my hood up for fear of being recognized and having my little outing ruined. I do not want to be treated as a prince right now, I want to experience village life for all that it is. 

I try to lower the pitch of my voice when I ask to be pointed in the direction of an inn that would let me hitch my horse for the day. I walk down the path I'm directed to follow and I see a large wooden sign labeled  _Tragician Inn_ of all names. I tie my horse to the post outside and go in to pay the owner for a few hours of letting my horse stay. The price isn't too high, so I throw in a few extra coins that the owner pockets immediately. He tries to get a good look at my face, but the lighting is low and my hood is big. "Would you like a room, too, sir?" I am asked.

"Well-"

"Good morning, Ray!" A faintly familiar voice chirps from stairs in front of me. The person descends them and I see Gerard, hair sticking up everywhere and a sleepy smile etched on his face. I swallow, my throat dry at the unexpected sight of him. 

"Yes. A room for the night would be good." I say, even though I shouldn't stay. I suppose I could tell my parents that I am staying with Michael, although I haven't paid him an overnight visit in ages.

"That'll cost extra." I'm told by the man who must be Ray. I stare at him, thinking about the extra coins I gave him, then decide it's no big deal and pull out a handful, not really counting. Ray smiles.

"Good morning to you too Gerard, would you mind showing our guest up to an empty room before you go out? I have to clean up a little from last night." 

Gerard looks at me and I keep my head down, too embarrassed to look at him. What am I doing here? I should be home, sleeping. "Of course, Ray. Follow me, sir." He turns to go back up the stairs and I follow him. There's two sets, one that leads to one floor and another that leads even higher. He takes me to the very top and unlocks a room for me. "No bag?" He asks, and I realize that it is odd of me to ask for a room to stay in and yet have no bag for the stay.

"No." I simply say.

"Alright. Ray serves meals at noon and then at six o' clock if you need a place to eat. And if you need anything else, just look for me or him and we will help you." 

I nod even though my head is mostly hidden and close the door, thanking Gerard. I listen to his footsteps as they fade away before letting my hood down and looking around the room. it is very small and drastically simple, with a haystack bed and a window and nothing else. I test the bed and it's smooth enough with the sheet over it. So. This is village life. I go over to the window and watch the people pass by on the street below. I see Gerard, his head now wrapped, guiding my horse to a stall. I watch the way the exposed muscles of his arms move and wonder how he isn't cold. It is nearly winter, and he is walking around sleeveless. Perhaps there is a spell that keeps him warm. I shake my head. I don't know for sure whether or not he's a wizard. Then again, why else would he cover his hair? If he lived with me, he wouldn't have to cover it. I'd love to see it.

What an odd thought to have. 

My mind has been preoccupied with Gerard ever since I met him yesterday. I was not expecting to see him again so soon. I could try to figure out an address to mail him letters and-

What crazy talk. I've barely had two full conversations with the man and I'm imagining ways to write him letters! I go back to the bed and lay on it, feeling tired from being up so early. My mind races, and I feel myself getting aroused for no reason. When I reach in my pants, images of red hair and sharp smiles flash in my mind and I still my hand. 

When I get into it and let my mind wonder, I see Gerard's hair, his muscles, I see the way he looked when he was concentrated on cleaning his wound, mouth slightly open and hands dirty and-

And that's it. 

I spend the rest of the morning wondering what in God's name I'm doing. 

Noon rolls around and there's a knock on my door. It's not Gerard, but Ray. I forgot my cloak and only realize it when I'm at the door, so I take a while to open it. Ray stares quizzically at me. "Is it cold in here, sir? I could start the fire-"

"No, no, it's fine." I say quickly, actually quite warm. "I just fell asleep in my cloak is all."

"Alright. Well, I'm serving lunch for a penny downstairs if your hungry." 

"That sounds fantastic," I enthuse. My stomach rumbles and I realize that I did not eat anything when I woke. Ray leaves and I nervously bite my nails, wondering what to do. Should I just accept being impolite and wear my hood to eat? While I'm still deciding, there's another knock at my door. "Yes?" I call out.

"Hello," Gerard's voice answers. Great. I throw my hood back up and open the door. When Gerard sees me, he sighs. "You can take your hood down, I know it's you."

I feel my heart quicken. "Do I know you?" I feign ignorance.

Though it is hard to see him clearly, I feel him lean closer to me so he can drop his voice when he says, "What are you doing here, prince?" I sigh and usher him into the room, closing the door quickly before lowering my hood.

"How did you know it was me?"

"Your voice gave you away. Ray's never heard you before, but I recognized it almost immediately." He tells me, welcoming himself to the bed. I sigh again, defeated. At least I can unbutton my coat now. "But seriously, what are you doing here Your Highness?"

Before I answer I tell him, "You can just call me Frank." Which surprises him. I am surprised myself. I've only ever told that to Michael after we were well acquainted. I hurry along to answer his question to clear the awkward air. "And I wanted to ride into a town today."

"Whatever for?" Gerard asks, staring up at me from where he lays.

I decide to be honest with him. "I was told that my father kills magic people." I blurt out, not thinking about how to word the sentence.

Gerard nods. "That he does. You didn't know that?"

I shake my head. "I don't condone it, either. But I was also told that villagers hunt down witches and wizards for prize money. I suppose I was hoping that if I didn't see any of that then it wouldn't be true."

"Well, who told you all of this in the first place?" Gerard asks me.

"My friend Michael."

Gerard sits up. "Michael? Michael Way?"

"Yes, I believe that is his surname. Do you know him?"

"He's my brother!" Gerard exclaims. "It is astounding that he is close to you."

I see the resemblance in their faces, they are almost identical now that the relation has been revealed. Gerard's words seem fake, like he has practiced them from a script. I am used to people speaking to me like this, so I ignore it. "Well, it is nice to finally meet the brother he is always talking about." I say. It's true, Michael has put in quite a lot of good words about Gerard, although he's never used his name so I never made the connection before. 

"Ah, Michael has quite the mouth on him." Gerard laughs. He pushes himself up from the bed and moves past me towards the window, his arm brushing me. 

"May I ask you a question?" I don't mean to be rude, but Gerard is such an interesting character that I just have to know. "Why is it you cover your hair? It is such a fascinating color."

"Thank you, but I cover it for the reason you're here. It gives me away." He bites his lip, and it's all confirmed in my head.

"Well, if you do not wish to be caught, why do you wear your hair like that?"

"It was an accident." He answers immediately. "A spell gone wrong."

Suddenly the idea of him being a wizard really fits. I do not know if I'm making it up, but it's almost like his skin is glowing with magic and even just his gaze is electric. Perhaps I should just accept that all of that could be my attraction to him. My stomach feels weird at the thought, but not like it did last night, not in a bad way. I am automatically moving towards him, unsure what I'm aiming to do, but I am suddenly distraught by the idea of him being burned alive. "I apologize for frightening you yesterday." I say so that I have an excuse to reach out and touch his bare skin.

"Do not apologize." He smiles kindly. "If not for you I would have revealed my face to your father." He puts a hand over mine and it is warm, he is so warm.

"About that," I withdraw my hand when I feel my fingers begin to shake with a need to touch more. "How did you not know it was a duel for my family?"

"I simply don't pay attention very well when I am occupied. It happens with every activity I partake in, when I'm really focused." He explains.

"Well, I am very glad that my father did not kill you." I say, which was probably too blunt. Gerard smiles nonetheless.

"And I am very glad that you do not condone the killing of my people."

There it is,  _my people_. Gerard is a wizard. I feel hopelessly drawn to a wizard. He stares at me and I at him until I can stand it no longer. I take a step towards him and he mirrors me. I flinch when he reaches out and gently touches my waist, but then I calm myself down and let myself rest a hand on his warm cheek that is again matching his hair. I have never felt this nervous with a woman. With them I would simply go through the motions until everything was done, but now, with Gerard, I don't want this feeling to be done.

I am shorter than him, so I have to lift my head slightly to look into his eyes as he does mine. He moves the hand that isn't on my waist and uses it to brush hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear. He does not look how I must. He seems sure and comfortable whereas I am flustered and confused. He drops his hands and steps back and I am suddenly cold, "Forgive me Your Highness-"

"Frank," I croak out, my voice oddly tight and high-pitched. He pauses.

"Frank. Forgive me, Frank."

"What for?"

"I should not have invaded your space like that."

"No, Gerard I-I liked it." I hear myself say the words and even I know the sentence sounds silly. We both laugh, and the air is no longer tight and suffocating, not to me.

"Well, if you are determined to hide your face, I can bring your lunch up here to you." He offers.

"That would be wonderful." I say, reaching into a cloak pocket for a penny. Gerard holds up a hand.

"Don't worry about it, I will pay. We can eat up here together."

"Are you sure? I do not wish to separate you from your friend." I say timidly.

"Ray will not mind." Gerard smiles and that is all it takes for me to agree, only if he agrees to let me pay for my own lunch. I hand him the coin and before he leaves to get the food, he leans down and kisses me on the cheek. I thank God that he turns away quickly because all of the blood in my body rushes to my cheeks. The door closes and I am left wondering what it would be like to feel him press his lips to mine.

We eat in silence. I have questions I'd like to ask him, but I cannot bring myself to ask them. Perhaps this is how my mother felt, though I still have no idea what she could possibly want to ask me. The food is good, so I occupy my mouth with that instead of letting poorly thought-out words slip right off my tongue. Gerard seems fine with the silence, he sits in the ledge of the window and eats his food, occasionally smiling at me when he catches me staring. I don't meant to stare, but I also don't want to look away. I wonder if I could somehow sneak him to the castle to continue being with him. Maybe I could get him in his armor and sneak him through the field-

The duel! My father is going to be extremely angry if I don't show up. "Gerard, do you know around what time it is?" I ask. He thinks for a moment, chewing his food.

"It should be close to around a little after noon. There are no clocks in this inn, I apologize." He tells me. I fall back on the bed, placing my food beside me. "What is the problem?"

"There is a duel today, probably going on right now." I groan, rubbing my eyes. "I had planned to only come into town and then leave in time to attend it. My father will murder me." 

"No he won't, you're his only heir." Gerard jokes. I laugh, only half sourly.

"Thanks, Gerard. That makes me feel so much better about this situation." I hear hay being crunched as Gerard sits next to me. 

"Can't you leave now and say you got lost?" He asks me.

"My parents wouldn't believe that. I practically grew up in the woods surrounding my home. Also, the journey home takes about an hour so the duel will probably have ended by the time I show up." I explain. I let out a long sigh, happy to just lay next to Gerard and not let the knot of worry in my stomach grow larger. "I don't really want to go back anyway." 

"Why not?"

Well, that's a loaded question. I suppose the simplest answer will be the best. "I had an argument with my father about something ridiculous and I don't want to face him for a while." 

Gerard lays back as well. "Well, you would have to face him eventually." 

"I know." My voice is sad, way more sad than I thought I felt. The silence begins to creep back between us, so I say, "I wonder how long I can hide out before my parents go crazy."

"You can stay here as long as you like." Gerard says, either ignoring or not hearing the joking tone in my voice. He sounds one-hundred percent serious. I remove my hands from over my eyes and lay them by my side, accidentally bumping Gerard's. I pull back like I burned myself in a candle's flame. "Sorry." I place my hand next to his, closer to my hip but at least not touching him.

"Don't apologize, Frank." His voice is soft. I don't know if I am imagining his little finger bumping mine, I can't see. This time the silence is comfortable again. I have the urge to hold his hand, touch his skin again, but I feel as though asking him questions would probably have a better outcome. 

After a moment I ask, "What is it like being a wizard?"

Gerard is silent and I turn my head to make sure I haven't offended him. He just looks like he's thinking. "Well," He starts. "I'm not sure how to describe it."

"What things can you do?"

"I don't do much with my magic. Times are too dangerous to experiment freely." Gerard answers shortly. 

"I apologize if those questions are too intrusive-" I try to say that I'm sorry but Gerard just chuckles and shakes his head- it lolls from side to side against the bed.

"They are not intrusive at all. I don't have very detailed answers because I've never had someone take much interest in my magic, so I don't have to answer questions often." He explains, turning his head so he can look at me like I am looking at him. 

"Well, okay." I huff, trying to think of an easier question that would have a less vague answer. "What were you doing that turned your hair that color?"

He blushes, smacking a hand to his forehead in embarrassment. "It was such a simple spell." 

"Well, spit it out!" I laugh, watching him squirm with embarrassment.

"I had cast a spell that keeps me warm. That's why my hair's red. The first time I tried, I messed up the words  _hair_ and  _fair._ " I burst out laughing, until my sides ache. Gerard is still blushing but he laughs too, softly. "Hey, the spells are not cast in English almost all of the time. It can get confusing!"

"But mixing up  _hair_ and  _fair?"_ I chuckle.

"It was about turning my fair-skin red, like a fire, to represent warmth. Instead I cast a spell for my hair to turn red. The spell took literally." He explains further. "It's tricky stuff."

"I think your hair looks wonderful." I tell him honestly. "Can I see it again?"

Gerard rolls his eyes and lifts his head to push the cloth off, revealing the bright color. I find myself combing my fingers through it, looking at how the light pouring through the window shines off of it as it moves. Gerard closes his eyes and just lets me touch his hair. I feel detached from my body as I let my hands travel down his scalp and then down his forehead and down, down, down until I am lightly touching his lips with my fingers. His eyes crack open slightly, watching me carefully. I lick my lips, wanting to kiss him, to feel the spark I felt when he simply pecked my cheek, but I would hate to make him uncomfortable. 

He gently touches the side of my face and smiles beneath my fingers. I suppose that's a good a sign as any that he is far from uncomfortable. I lower myself closer to his face, slowly, feeling like everything is falling into place. I move my finger tips so that I can graze my lips on the very edges of his, my lips buzzing with anticipation. Gerard shifts slightly, pushing up into me and that's it, we are kissing. 

I think back to the previous night, when the princess had shoved me in a corner and was kissing me and how it didn't feel like anything but skin on skin, nothing special. But  _this,_ kissing Gerard, even just this light touch is more than anything I've felt before. I begin to melt into the kiss, but then my heart nearly jumps out of my chest when there is a pounding on my door. I roll away, feeling my face heat up. "Gerard, wrap up lunch, there's some rooms to be cleaned."

Gerard sits up, pushing a stray strand of hair out of his face. I want to sit up with him and say farewell for now, but I am frozen. He stands and pulls his shirt down, looking down at me. "Do you feel okay, Frank?" He asks.

_Yes._ I want to scream that I have finally found the right way to feel, but my mouth isn't working. It wants to be on Gerard's again. I simply nod and swallow the lump rising in my throat. In one spring of energy I push up from the bed and kiss him forcefully, letting my hands twine in his hair. When I pull back, Gerard is smiling. "I'll see you later?" He asks and I nod, smiling just as wide as him. When he leaves my room after tying his cloth on his head again, I feel like dancing. Have I solved the mystery to romance not feeling like a swamp I'm slowly drowning in? I shake my head, tell myself this whole ordeal is crazy, that I've only met this man but a day before. But still, my stomach feels like it wants to burst out of my mouth, but in a good way. I wrap myself in my cloak, absently rubbing my lips together. I did come to town to observe after all, and half the day is gone. I glance at my reflection in the window pane and see how red my cheeks are. I could just blame that on the chill of outside. I pull my hood all the way up and make my way out of the inn.

Outside, the street is fairly busy. I short distance away, a few merchants offer their supplies and services. I see children running wildly through the streets and mothers watching from windows and chatting with friends. Men haul loads of wood and other materials all around, I watch their muscles strain. Life in this town seems busy and ever-moving, whereas at my home, everything is orderly and calm. All of the commotion of everyday life is hidden from me. I walk around for a few hours, until I begin to notice the sun setting. There is no talk of witches or wizards. I suppose it is something that only comes up when it needs to. 

I get pointed in the right direction to return to the inn and happily open the door to the warmth of the fire that Ray has built. "Ah, our guest of the hour!" I hear Ray exclaim. I stop, keeping my head down. "I didn't know we were entertaining royalty." My head snaps up and I see Gerard standing behind him, his face hidden in his hands, red creeping out from under his palms. Luckily there is no one else down here. 

"So sorry about that," I say to be polite. "I'm sure you understand why I tried to stay low." 

"Right, you wanted to blend in with the  _commoners._ " Ray spits the word like he's mocking me. I look behind him to Gerard, who is staring down at the top of a table at his hands. 

"I simply wished to see the town and not be treated like the prince." I try to explain.

"Of course, because that's such a terrible thing." Ray says, his voice dripping with sarcasm. I feel angry. Why would Gerard tell him about me? Ray didn't know it was me, and now if my parents start looking he will turn me over with no hesitation. 

"I can leave your inn if it is too much of an inconvenience to have me here." I say, lowering my voice when I hear footsteps above me.

Ray stops smirking. "I apologize, Your Highness. I was only poking fun. If you wish to remain anonymous in my inn you are welcome to." He goes back to wiping at the table top with an old cloth. I don't stay anything else, just go up to my room and take off my cloak and shirt to sleep. It is early, not fully night yet. I remember that my parents still have no clue where I am, so I get up to look for parchment to write a simple letter saying that I ran into Michael and he invited me to stay at his home for a few nights. I find parchment near the window, where someone could sit during daylight to write letters in the glow of the sun. Night is approaching quickly, so I scribble my note fast, the letters scratchy and legible probably only to those who have spent much time reading it, or those who have the patience to decipher them.

I fold the letter up and stick it on the windowsill to have delivered tomorrow, and I lay back down in the bed. I lay awake in the slowly-encroaching darkness, half expecting a knock on my door. By the time I fall asleep, there have been no knocks and the building groans against the wind.

~~~~~

I end up staying in the inn for two nights, both of which Gerard avoids me. I am not angry anymore, Ray was true to his word and kept my identity a secret, so I am planning on talking to Gerard and telling him just that. It is now the third day of my visit to town and I am merely strolling through the streets when someone shoves past me. I angrily call after them, but then see what they are running to. At the end of the road is a giant log to which someone is tied. Villagers are throwing sticks and wood beneath the person, chanting loudly, their words blending together and unintelligible. I feel my heart drop to my stomach. They are burning someone at the stake. A magic person. What if its Gerard?

My feet begin moving faster and my hood nearly blows down, but I approach closer and see that it is not Gerard, but a woman instead. She doesn't react to the taunts and jeers of the people around her. Her face is blank and she has her eyes closed, as if she were simply asleep. Someone steps on a makeshift podium and announces that she has been accused of witchcraft and that her punishment would be to burn. She doesn't even struggle as the audience erupts in cheers. I am frozen, unable to do anything. I could throw my hood down and stop this, march up to the podium and free her, decreeing her safe as the prince, but my feet are stuck to the dirt as I watch the man that announced her guilty light a torch and throw it towards the enormous pile of wood. The flames spread rapidly through the dry winter logs, licking up the post to the women and they catch hold of her feet. She lets out a cry of agony and I turn away from the scene, running until I am back at the inn, not even aware that I was headed here in the first place.

Ray is at the counter, looking on with slight interest as people run by the inn towards the fire being held. "Where is Gerard?" I ask, bringing his attention to my sorry state.

"He should be up in his room. Second floor, third door down." Ray tells me. I thank him and launch myself up the stairs and knocking on the door Ray told me he'd be behind. 

"Gerard, it's me!" I call, my voice tight and worried. I feel like crying, even though I'm not the one in any danger. I hear the soft click of a lock being moved and then the door cracks open and Gerard peers through. He opens it just wide enough for me to slip in and then closes it and locks it up again. I grab him up, wrapping my arms around him in a tight embrace. He stiffens up and I feel my heart deflate with rejection. "S-sorry-"

"It's okay, I thought you were mad at me."

"At first I was, not anymore." I quickly hug him again, and this time he returns the embrace, squeezing tight. It is only now that I see that he is in complete darkness, the curtains drawn over the window and not even so much as a candle lit to offer something in the dark. I can't even make out his face in the total blackness. 

"Did you see the-" His voice breaks.

"Yes." I answer, knowing what he is talking about.

"So you believe that your father wants me dead?" He asks. I can hear the effort in his voice to be light, but his voice shakes unevenly.

"I believe you, yes." Now is not the time for arguing or wondering, not when a woman's burning scent fills the air and people cheer as she screams in pain. I can hear the voices from Gerard's room, the people celebrating the agonizing death of one of their own. She was probably a sister, a daughter, a mother. And they just lit her up. I shudder, feeling sick but making myself hold everything in, just clinging to Gerard until the noise outside quiets down slightly. 

I suppose the killing is complete when a booming voice declares, "God has forsaken you and we cast your wrongful spirit out of our earth." 

I feel Gerard tighten his hold on me at the words. He is not a wrongful spirit. In fact, his spirit is the nicest one I've ever met. He moves away from me and it's too dark to see, so I just let him guide me to his bed, which I am surprised to feel is not hay, but a mattress stuffed with soft feathers and cotton. This must be his permanent residence. I feel him shaking, so I hold his hands tightly. "Does Ray know?" I ask.

I hear Gerard swallow before he whispers back, "Yes. He helps." 

I do not want to make him any more uncomfortable with talking, knowing that his fear of being caught is very real and palpable right now, so I just hold his hands and take a small amount of comfort in the fact that Ray helps Gerard out. Time passes by slowly and I feel the mattress shift as Gerard lays back, eventually tugging me with him. I wrap my body around his warmth, holding tight and gently running my fingers through his hair again, like that first night we kissed a couple of nights back. I can't believe I was ever angry at him. Of course he'd gossip with a friend about the prince staying at their little inn, it makes total sense now. I press gentle kisses to his skin and murmur reassurances in the dark for a while, until there is a soft knock at the door and Ray's voice coming through the wood saying, "You can open the windows now, Gerard." I wait for Gerard to move, but he doesn't.

"Frank," His voice is still so soft and scared. "I, uh, usually have to look myself but could you maybe check and see if nothing is visible? You know, from the fire."

I don't really want to look and maybe see a burnt corpse, but I nod and head towards the small sliver of light coming from behind curtains. I peak out and see that there is nothing but ash and people walking around and through it, apparently not caring if they step on a former human. "There's nothing." I tell him, feeling relief myself. I hear him walk over and then he is moving the curtains, letting the room be filled with light again. he quickly moves away though, his head is uncovered and his windows large. I see him now, how pale and shaken up he is. There are tears on his face.

"How often do you deal with that?" I ask.

He shrugs and sniffs. "Uh, sometimes months pass by without a burning." He tells me. "But too often."

"I'm going home." I say, suddenly full of determination.

"What?" Gerard's head snaps towards me, his eyes wide.

"I need to talk with my father." I tell him.

"Frank, no. Do not cause trouble with your father over this." Gerard says, shaking his head.

"My father is responsible for this mentality!" I exclaim. "I see not an ounce of anything unholy or evil in you, and yet all of those people just blindly follow the words of my misguided father. It needs to stop, I refuse to see you be killed for something you can't control."

"You can't change everything." Gerard sighs, hanging his head.

"I believe I have the power to change a few things-"

"You know kissing me can get us both burned at the stake."

I stop my foolish speech before it even really begins. "W-what?"

"You and me. Two men, it's the wrong equation. We would be burned." Gerard tells me. I've never heard of that, either.

I shake my head, tears coming to my eyes. "I will change that, too." I walk towards him and fall to my knees in front of him, grabbing his hands. 

"Some things can't be changed." Gerard says quietly, so, so sadly it breaks my heart. 

"Gerard, you aren't wrong. You and I aren't wrong. I've felt wrong my whole life, with everyone. Then I kissed you and-" My voice breaks and I have to clear my throat. "That is the only time in my life where I  _didn't_ feel wrong." I don't care if the rest if the world hates the idea of people who are different. Gerard isn't hurting anybody, I'm not hurting anybody by kissing Gerard. So why should we be punished for feeling normal and just simply living? 

Gerard smiles sadly. He looks at me, his eyes glazed over with tears as he says, "You will make a great king one day." 

"Be king with me, Gerard." I say suddenly, the idea springing to my head. He laughs, shaking his head like I am joking, only I'm not. "I'm serious. I can't think of a better person to share my throne with."

Gerard's eyes sparkle and he smiles at me genuinely this time, leaning forward to kiss me. "That future sounds like a dream." He sighs, breath fanning out over my lips. "Sadly I don't think it could become a reality." 

"Then I will stay here with you. I will not become king." I try.

Gerard shakes his head. "You are not giving up your throne for me."

"I can't be something I'm not, not when I know the truth feels so good." I say, and now there are tears in my eyes. I can't go back to the life I was living just a handful of nights ago. Gerard has changed so much and opened my eyes to so many new possibilities. 

"Then you must try to make changes, even if it's one at a time." Gerard says. I nod, pressing my lips to his again. I want to feel the rest, to know just exactly what feelings have been missing from everything my whole life. I climb into his lap and kiss him deeply, letting him lay me on the bed, his body pressing to mine. I shift my hips curiously and I feel him in his pants and I inhale sharply. He presses down on me, softly kissing me and I let him kiss more than just my lips. He sucks on my neck, pushing my shirt up with his hand and touching my exposed skin. 

"They will never hurt you," I whisper my promise against his mouth when he kisses me again, and then he is unbuttoning my pants. Just his hand alone is better than anything I have experienced before. He slicks it up with his own spit and I feel like screaming, but I manage to keep quiet so that the other people resting at this inn don't hear two men moaning together. I need to be inside of him now. I push against him to try and roll us over but he stays firmly where he is. "Gerard,"

"Let me." He pants, reaching to pull down his pants, tossing them somewhere. He pulls off his shirt and I let my eyes roam over the expanse of smooth pale skin, followed by my hand as I touch. He helps me kick off my own pants and pushes my shirt the rest of the way off. He reaches behind himself and inserts his fingers into himself. I watch with wide eyes as he works, sweating and gasping. The sight nearly pushes me over the edge. But then he is lowering his body onto me, slowly, tortuously slow. I let out a moan that turns into me biting Gerard's hand that covers my mouth to keep me quiet. It is tight and hot and slick and Gerard begins to slowly move, skin slapping mine. I don't last long. Gerard touches himself and I finish to the sight of that, Gerard pulling off and me rolling us around so that I can touch him, his semen covering my hand messily as I kiss him.

I wipe my hand on whatever is beneath us and pant, letting myself catch my breath. I fall asleep next to Gerard, his arm around my waist and a permanent smile carved into my face. 

I leave the next morning, after Gerard wakes up and I can kiss him farewell. I saddle up on my horse and begin the ride back home, where my father and mother tell me how much they missed me and how much I missed in my absence. I try to calm them down but one spits out news fight as the other finishes up a story. I watch them go back and forth until I finally just shout for them to stop. "I have to tell you something."

"What is it, dear?" My mother asks.

"I am in love." 

Wow. Just like that, it's out there. 

Both parents are silent for a moment. My mother lets out a squeal that sounds like she was fatally injured. "Who is she? The princess from the other night?" 

I feel my father's gaze piercing me. "Actually," I begin, working up the courage to just get it out there. "It's a boy. And a wizard." 

No sense in hiding it, right? 

My parents are not pleased with the news. My father tells me that I am disowned, that I need to leave the kingdom borders by nightfall, that he can't believe I would even entertain these "unholy actions" as he put it. My mother tries to calm him down, but isn't defending me. I find myself oddly okay with leaving them behind. I can leave with Gerard tonight, we can go to a different kingdom and start anew in an area where nobody knows who I am and where he doesn't have to hide who he is. My mother thinks I am joking, and she yells at me to not be so cruel. 

What a nuthouse. 

My family's name has always been fairly insecure. We were just a generation away from being overthrown anyway. So I do meet up with Gerard and tell him what happened. He agrees that the best course of action would be to go far away, to different lands. Ray wishes us luck, watching us as we take off. My father even sent some knights to make sure I leave for good. 

Over the course of the next few years I watch my father steadily lose the throne and new men fight for power over the land. I hear news of my mother's death and throw away the letter that is delivered five years later telling me that my father has passed as well. Things change rapidly. The craze for magic-hunting dies down and Gerard manages to change his hair to a more common color. Things around the world evolve fast, people go to battles and lands are lost and won but I do not worry too much. I have Gerard by my side, we are in our own home where we can talk about whatever we please and be as loud as we want. There is plenty of time to watch the world fall apart, as long as we watch it together.

 

**Author's Note:**

> ?????????????? im sorry i did like -100% research so 
> 
> THE!! ENDING!!! SUCKED!!!!! but i am so tired i can barely type ok i just reeeeaaaalllly wanted to post it im sorry 
> 
>  
> 
> also i wrote this all in one night + half asleep because im an eager and impatient piece of shit (the title is obviously not my original idea it is from the song but im just putting this here in case some crazy mf wants to sue my ass for sme crazy reason ok im tired)  
> i hate fic cliches so much but i probably wrote a billion personality cliches for the guys but im falling asleep rn so it doesnt really matter this is a shitty thing anyway lmao but if you read it all the way to the end i hope you at least liked it a little bit


End file.
